What is mostly unbusy mom?

"Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it."

― Steven Pressfield

I am on a mission to help overwhelmed and overworked moms find the time and space to create a life they mostly love.

I know you are all busy, so let's get to it.

In this post, we will go over the following:

How I got here.

What is the mostly unbusy mindset?

What can you expect from the Mostly Unbusy Mom posts?

How I got here.

Before I get into what I mean by mostly unbusy, I want to discuss who can benefit from this mindset. This mindset would work for anyone, but my primary target is busy working moms. You are my people because I am in the same boat as you. 

Can you relate to this story?

Pre-covid, I was flying through my days feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and constantly busy. I was miserable despite having everything that I had worked so hard to achieve: a great husband, great kids, and a great job. I was trying to be everything for my family, my job, and everyone but me. I felt burnt out and had no fundamental coping skills. At the end of the day, I would be exhausted and depleted. So I would have some snacks or a couple of glasses of wine. But that wouldn't make me feel better. Instead, I would feel worse for eating and/or drinking too much. I would tell myself tomorrow I would be better. Rinse and repeat.

What did I do?

I hired a life coach. 

I had been listening to the Life Coach School Podcast for some time and had dabbled in coaching in the past. However, this time, I knew I had to commit to creating a more manageable life. I was so amazed at how small changes in my thoughts could make drastic changes in my life that I decided to become a life coach and share this with others. Now, I want to say that this miraculous change was permanent, but it wasn't. When I started my coaching business, things became overwhelming again, and I returned to my old coping mechanisms. So what happened?

The Goldilocks phenomenon

When I was constantly busy, I was like Goldilocks in the bed that was too hard. It just wasn't right. And when I was trying to get this unbusy, decluttered, and minimalistic life, I was in the too-soft bed. I thought that I had to be completely unbusy. So when new things or unexpected emergencies came up, I felt I was failing. Then I would say f*** it and return to my old coping mechanisms. Being completely unbusy was simply not what  I could be in this season of my life. So if busy is too hard and unbusy is too soft, where is just right?

Where Goldi failed us

The Goldilocks story failed us. She told us that somewhere there is a bed that is just right. But the thing is, there is no just right. Or at least what is just right is constantly changing. There is no perfect program or system that is going to make things feel just right all of the time. This was when I came up with the mostly unbusy mindset. 

What is the mostly unbusy mindset?

The mostly unbusy mindset means that you don't want to be unbusy, decluttered, and healthy all the time, but you want it most of the time. You might want a decluttered house, but sometimes you want to spend your time doing something fun. You want an organized day with free time for you, but sometimes you want to be busy, like when you are in the middle of a project. You want to eat foods that make your body feel good, but you also want to eat treats and enjoy food. 

When you have the mostly unbusy mindset, you can take into account the reality of being a busy mom. You know that life changes on a dime. The systems that may have worked when your kids were in preschool no longer work now that they are in elementary school. You may have everything figured out in the fall, but then the winter comes, and it is a new set of afterschool activities to figure out. Then you add in the layer of changing jobs or family emergencies. And the things that work for one mom may not be the solution for you. The mostly unbusy mindset recognizes that no program, diet, system, or planner works every time something changes. Instead, it is about developing a set of tools that allows you to pivot between all the things. 

So yes, Goldy, sometimes we need the just-right bed. But other times, we need the hard bed when we have to get shit done. Sometimes we need a soft bed when we need to take a break. 

So if you are a  busy mom flying through her days feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and constantly busy, then this is for you. If you think that there is no way you can be organized, unbusy, and healthy while taking care of your family and your work, a mostly unbusy mindset can help. In these posts, I hope that we can all find a life that we enjoy, at least most of the time;)

What can you expect from these posts?

You will get a weekly email from me where I share tips and tricks that you can use to mostly unbusy your life. I will teach you the coaching skills I learned that could help you pivot when you need to ramp up or scale down. We will talk about when and how to be cluttered, busy, and unhealthy and when to let it all go. I will share strategies that are simple, sustainable, and kind. They will be small shifts that you can do each week. 

Some of these will resonate with you, and you will want to try them immediately. Others, not so much. That's ok. This is like a buffet with lots of options. You pick what works best for you.

This is not about me telling you how you should be.

This is about you looking for things that work for you, mostly. 

Are you ready to become mostly unbusy?

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