Stop doing that one holiday tradition you hate!

Traditions can be wonderful and comforting and special. We also start collecting them like our kids collect Pokemon cards. We think we like them, we keep adding more of them, and at the end of the day, they are torn and scattered around the house, and no one is enjoying them.

I know you think there is no way that you can eliminate a holiday tradition. I want you to pause for a moment and question whether this is actually true. Let’s look at a couple of thoughts we might have about this.

“Everyone will be mad at me” or “I will never hear the end of it.”

Maybe. Or maybe they won’t notice or care. Or maybe they might even be secretly grateful. The point is you don’t really know what they will think. 

The other thing to consider is what part of your happiness are you willing to sacrifice to maybe ensure someone else’s joy. Sometimes we do things we don’t necessarily want to do in order to bring someone else joy. I am not saying that you shouldn’t do this. I am saying that you should choose this deliberately. When you embark on a tradition, remind yourself of the truth. This sucks a little bit, but I am choosing to do this for this person.  This subtle shift in your perspective changes everything.

And what if your family gives you crap? Well, they might. I recommend choosing your unhappiness. You are either going to be unhappy and resentful for doing the tradition you hate or unhappy and resentful when they give you crap. Either way, there is going to be some discomfort. You pick. For me, feeling resentful is far more toxic and lingering than the brief pain of disappointing someone. Mostly ;) Sometimes it is easier to just do it. 

We used to drive up to my in-law's house for Christmas Eve and have dinner with my husband’s extended family. When my kids were about 2 years old, my husband and I decided that we wanted to wake up in our own home with the kids on Christmas morning. Sure, my in-laws were disappointed. Truth be told, I did miss seeing the whole family. But that pain was so brief compared to the joy of seeing my kids run down the stairs to open their presents from Santa on Christmas morning. Now my in-laws come to us for Christmas. There are always new traditions to create. 

“If I don’t do it this year, then I will never do it again.”

Maybe. During Covid, I did not send out holiday cards. After having spent the past 7 months working in the emergency department through a global pandemic, I simply didn’t have the time or energy. When I sat down at the computer to order them, I literally thought:  what the heck am I doing? I closed the computer and didn’t look back. This year I am doing cards again. Why? Because I want to. Because unlike 2 years ago, the thought of sending cards makes me happy. 

So what hated holiday tradition are you giving up this year?

Remember, every year you get to decide what joy (and what pain) you want to bring into your life.

 Mostly;)

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