So you feel like crap? Now what?

The holiday season can be a mixed bag for most of us. Sure there are all the fun celebrations and parties, but there is also the family drama, loss of loved ones, and the public pressure to feel joyful. 

I trained at The Life Coach School and one of their philosophies is that life is 50:50. Half of the time you are feeling positive emotions and the other half is negative emotions. This may initially seem depressing, but this is excellent news when you think about it a little deeper. 

Why?

First, if you feel more like Scrooge and less like Mrs. Claus, you will be relieved to know this is totally normal. You don’t have to beat yourself up about it. You don’t always have to find your holiday cheer. You can just feel crappy and know that the 50% positive will be there for you. 

Second, when you embrace that 50% of the time, you will actually increase your percentage of positive emotions. 

Wait, what? How does that math work?

You spend more time in negative emotions when you feel bad and think you shouldn’t feel that way. Buddhism calls this the second arrow concept. The first arrow brings you the pain of the wound. This is your initial negative emotion. The second arrow is self-inflicted. It is you telling yourself this shouldn’t have happened. You shouldn’t feel this way. 

So, if you are not feeling the holiday cheer today (or any day), don’t beat yourself up. Do what you need to do for your mental health. Know that this is normal. 

(If your negative emotion is severe, persisting, or debilitating, or you suffer from depression or other mental illness, you may need the help of a mental health professional.)

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