Editing Your Brain

I recently purchased an app called Grammarly. And let me tell you, it has been life-changing. You can install Grammarly as an extension on your browser, and it will edit your documents not only for grammar and spelling but also for tone and style. Grammarly will make recommendations  like, “this is possibly a wordy sentence, consider rewording it, ” or, my favorite,  “this phrase may be unnecessary; consider removing it.” As I was writing my latest post, it got me thinking this is exactly what exploring your thoughts with a life coach can do for your life. So here are three ways a life coach is  Grammarly for your brain.

1. They both help you remove thoughts/sentences that may be unnecessary.

 Sometimes we have thoughts that are just not necessary. We have been telling ourselves these thoughts for our entire life and, thus, have just accepted them as true without question. A coach can help you identify these unnecessary thoughts and teach you how to let them go.

 I used to think, “It’s my job to make my children’s lives easier.” It seemed like such a noble and true thought. But let’s see how this thought played out in my life regarding my kid’s homework. I would try to show them how to do the work. I would lead them through each problem, and they would still be frustrated and angry. The inevitable tears and tantrums would ensue.  I would be frustrated and angry, and I would believe I was failing at being a mom because, despite my best efforts, they were still struggling with the homework. Clearly, I had not made their life easier. 

When I let go of this thought, I still sat and helped them with their homework. But I didn’t always lead them through every problem. Sometimes I would ask them to figure out their specific question or issue. Sometimes I would just give them the space to be angry and frustrated. I stopped letting their anger and frustration mean I was failing because I hadn’t made their lives easier.

 I still kept some of the same actions in helping, but I added in some other useful actions. I also became less frustrated and angry at myself. When I was less frustrated and angry at myself, I was less angry and frustrated at them, meaning I  actually ended up showing up as the more patient parent I wanted to be.  

2. They both help you reword your thoughts/sentences to simple and useful ones.

Like writing, sometimes your brain is filled with many complicated thoughts that you tell yourself. And like Grammarly, a coach can help you find overly wordy and complex thoughts. They can help you rewrite these thoughts into simple, useful thoughts that allow you to achieve your goals. 

For example, I used to think, “To lose weight, I need to have a strict diet of only good food.” When I would think that, I would look all over for the latest crazy, restrictive diet that promised me fast results. It would work but only in the short term. With help from a coach, I worked on rewording that thought to, “I enjoy learning which foods make me feel healthy and strong.” 

With this revised thought, I focused on how food makes my body feel. I became aware that certain foods made me feel sluggish, and others gave me more energy. The revised thought didn’t label food as bad or good or that I should or should not eat certain things. It is more of an awareness of how food works with my body. This has helped me lose weight and enabled me to have a healthy relationship with food and my body. 

3. They do not judge you.

Sometimes when applying coaching tools, like the Model (see this post for a description), we start to judge ourselves for not “doing it better.” We think we should have already learned this lesson. Grammarly does not tell you that you are stupid and should have learned this grammar in  5th grade. It just says it appears there is a mistake; consider changing it. A life coach similarly just shows you how your thoughts create your results. A coach doesn’t think that you are doing it wrong. They know that only you can know what is best for you. They provide you with a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore your thoughts. Like Grammarly, a coach  will ask, “you may want to consider rewriting or eliminating this thought.”

Ready to edit your thoughts to create the life you were meant to live? 

Sign up for a free session and see how I can be your brain’s version of Grammarly.