Don’t buy another planner, app, or diet!

If you are like me and on a quest to enjoy your life, then you are probably tempted by the latest planner, app, or diet that promises you a better life and body. I have spent my fair share of money on the latest thing that promises to make my life easier. In the end, it is always the same. They never last. Sure, they are great for the first couple of weeks when you are motivated and ready for a change. But then life happens. The kids get sick and have to stay home from school, or you have a big deadline at work. All of a sudden, that amazing thing you just bought falls apart. 

The thing is, your life is so much more than a series of to-do lists, work productivity, or a number on the scale. So why do we spend so much time and money trying to get these things? We want these things because of how we think we will feel when we have them. You don’t want to be more productive, you want to feel accomplished or free, or relaxed at the end of the day. You don’t want to be a number on the scale, you want to feel healthy, energized, and fit. 

So when we lose motivation, what is really happening is that we have become disconnected from who we are and how we want to feel. We then try to fill in this void with short-term rewards such as procrastinating with Netflix or eating when we are not hungry. We make this mean that either the system failed or we failed. 

This is the cycle of trying and quitting. The solution is to figure out who you are and what you truly, want. Then use small mindset shifts every day to get you there. The least important part is the how, which is the new app, planner, or diet. 

Here are four steps to get you started on figuring out what you want; motivation is not required!

Who are you?

You all know that I love to use the term core values. It has helped me realize who I am and why I want to do things. But it doesn’t have to be core values. Remember, every system works. What are the things that make you feel the most aligned and in tune with you? Get clear about what connects you to the greater good, others, and yourself. Knowing what makes you feel aligned and centered is the key. 

What do you want?

Decide what your goal is. Is it to have more free time or maybe to not feel completely exhausted at the end of the day? Maybe you want to enjoy your job again, or you want to lose weight. Whatever it is, start to imagine what your life will look like when you get there. What do you do in your day-to-day life? How will you feel? What will you think about yourself, your day, and others? It is worth the time to get specific when answering these questions. This is the part where you dream big. Don’t let yourself get bogged down with the how. Trying to figure out how in this stage is the killer of all dreams. Just pretend that if you dream it, it can happen. Field of Dreams, anyone?

Where are you now? 

Write down everything you are currently doing. This is not an opportunity to shame yourself or beat yourself up. It is just an honest look at your starting point. You need to know where you are right now in order to be able to learn everything you need to get to your goal. 

What can your life look like?

And finally, you are going to blend the two. Now is the time for brutal honesty. Look at where you are right now and where you want to be. What things are you doing differently? What things do you need to declutter or drop to get to your ideal life? When do you want to start doing them? 

When I did this exercise about my work week, I discovered that I am actually very happy with where I am at work. I initially thought that I wanted to find a way to work 4-6 hours a day. And that is still true for the future. But in order to do that right now, I would have to give up some projects, go part-time, and reduce my income. I realized that I am actually not ready to do that right now.  I had spent a lot of time being frustrated about my work. I told myself that it was not what I wanted. When I compared my idea and actual day, I realized what I actually wanted was to have better boundaries on my work time. I didn’t want my work time to blend into fun or family time. I dropped volunteer tasks and projects that I didn’t enjoy and ended up taking time away from my family and fun time. I got very clear about when my work day ends and when I will look at emails. Look at your idea and actual life and figure out where you want to be on that spectrum. You can't and shouldn't try to be at your goal immediately. What is one small thing you can do to get you in that direction?

Next week we will talk about how to declutter your brain and find those mindset shifts that will help you create the life you want without needing to feel motivated!

Drop me an email or DM me on Instagram. I’d love to hear if you tried this exercise and what you discovered about yourself. 

 For more content, follow me on Instagram @allthethingscoach and subscribe to my weekly newsletter here.

Want to see if 1:1 coaching is right for you? Schedule your free consultation!