Create Your Best Fall Ever!

 Your Best Fall Ever!

Hi everyone!

Welcome back to the Mostly Unbusy Mom blog, where we explore how to be mostly unbusy, healthy, and happy.

My kids just went back to school last week and I am so excited, but not for the reason you might think. We had so much fun this summer. We had great vacations to the beach and Lake George. My kids did sleep away camp for the first time and loved it. But like all things, summer came to an end. And to be honest, I don’t mind.

First of all, I love the fall. I love that slight crispness in the air, the crunch of the leaves on the ground, and God help me, I still love pumpkin spice everything. What I really love about this time is the liminal space. Liminal space is a transition or a shift from one space to another. That is exactly what September is for me. Routines are changing, especially if you have kids. You are going from summer's carefree, laid-back feel to a more structured day. And this is the perfect space to reflect and decide what you want your next couple of months to look like. 

Most of us daydream and plan about what we want our vacations or holidays to look like. But how much time do you spend thinking about how you want your mundane everyday life to play out? We spend more time researching the perfect couch than we do thinking about and creating our day-to-day lives. Isn’t that wild? No wonder we end most days feeling overwhelmed, burnt out and exhausted. So, instead of going through the next couple of months feeling like your life is running you, take some time to plan your ideal fall. You might even surprise yourself and find you have some time for yourself!

Here are four questions for having your best Fall.

1. How do you want to feel?

2. What would your ideal day look like?

3. What do you need to eliminate to get closer to that ideal day?

4. What thoughts are holding you back?

Still trying to figure out how to answer? Here is how I am using these questions to create the life I want. 

How do you want to feel?

When we did this exercise in the summer, I wanted to feel laid back, relaxed, and free to spend quality time with myself and my family. However, in the fall, I tend to feel more productive and ready to tackle work. This fall, I want to feel productive and energetic. I also want to feel calm and cozy, especially when I start to light up the fire pit and fireplace! I want to balance working hard, shutting down, and relaxing. What do you want to feel this fall?

What would your ideal day look like?

Here, you can use the main feelings from question one to think about your day. I want to feel productive, energetic, calm, and cozy. So my ideal day should reflect that. Now that my kids are back in school, I want to be really productive during that time. I want to set clear boundaries of when my work day starts and ends and use that time efficiently. To set myself up for a productive day, I need a little time for myself in the morning. My weekdays will look like waking up at 5:30 or 6 to have around an hour for myself. Some days will be working out; others will involve sitting with my tea and just being. After that, it is getting the kids off to school and getting to work. I want to end my work day at 4 pm and completely shut everything down. I want to spend 4 pm to 8 pm hanging with my kids and husband and enjoying this time with them. I want to help with homework and take them to their activities. And I want to spend an hour or two after that working on this coaching business. I want to balance this structured time during the week with free time on the weekends. I know I want to spend 2-4 hours of the weekend working on my coaching business, and then there are kids' games that are scheduled. Besides that, I want the rest of my weekends to be carefree and spontaneous.

What do you need to eliminate to get closer to that ideal day?

I need to minimize procrastination. When I procrastinate or get distracted from my work, I tend not to finish my tasks. This leads me to work at night when I really want to be spending time with my family. When I do that, I don’t get the recovery time I need to be productive the next day and the cycle continues. So, I need to set up thoughts and systems to keep me on track during the day. I also need to eliminate extra tasks. Some things on my to-do list don’t reflect my core values. I need to go through all my tasks and projects and eliminate the things I don’t want or need to do. That might mean I need to be okay with not finishing a project that no longer works for me or finding someone else to do it. And finally, I need to get rid of what a productive day looks like to me. You see, I often think it means getting a lot of to-dos done. But a more helpful way to think about it is finishing what you planned. To do this, I will have to plan realistic and compassionate days rather than my usual jam-packed, never have the time to get it all done days. 

What thoughts are holding you back?

I don’t feel like doing this now. This thought is what keeps me in procrastination mode. Instead, I’m going to try this is what I need to do now so that I can have a fun evening. 

I should be doing x, y, or z. This usually comes up at night when I am trying to have that relaxing downtime and my mind wants to remind me of everything I have to do. I will replace it with, right now, I need to do nothing.

I can’t eliminate this task because I made a commitment. Yes, I am all for honoring commitments. But if you have something on your list that you keep putting off and procrastinating on, then you are already not honoring your commitment (even if that commitment was just to you!).  I will replace this thought with this commitment no longer fits with life, and I can outsource it or just give it up.

This process may seem like busy work, but it really works. Your mind is a powerful tool; when you start telling it what to create, it makes it possible. So stop living your life on autopilot and start creating your mostly unbusy day!

Next week, we will talk about the mindset shifts that will help you overcome procrastination and create the life you want without needing to feel motivated!

Drop me an email or DM me on Instagram. I’d love to hear if you tried this exercise and what you discovered about yourself. 

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